


Sakura-chan is Sakura-chan

by SeriousMistakes (TruckThat)



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Crack, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-27
Updated: 2011-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-15 23:57:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/166228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TruckThat/pseuds/SeriousMistakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After everything is over, Syaoran and Sakura just can't seem to acknowledge their feelings for each other. Kurogane wishes someone would do something about it, already. Fai has a... fairly unhelpful suggestion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sakura-chan is Sakura-chan

**Author's Note:**

> Hahaha. Um. This started off as the kind of inside joke that happens at four in the morning. But, uh, then I made a huge mistake and wrote it. My bad, I guess?
> 
> Also, there are at least twenty really good reasons why this would never happen and I am ignoring all of them.

"Ahh, young love," Fai sighs, leaning mistily against Kurogane's side.

It's ridiculous.  All four of them are here together in Clow Country for the first time in months—or what must be months in at least one of their timelines.  Who knows how long it'll be, next time, before they find themselves back in Sakura's world.  And yet, Syaoran and Sakura are still, somehow, inching around each other in the most painful way possible.  It makes no sense; everyone knows that there are feelings there, everyone knows that everyone _else_ knows that there are feelings, it's awkward as hell, and it's clearly killing them both.  Not to mention killing Kurogane, slowly, by degrees.  Syaoran can barely say good morning to his princess without stuttering, and every accidental touch leaves Sakura tongue-tied and blushing cherry pink.

It's a waste of damn time, is what it is.  He ought to talk to the kid, maybe. Maybe just give him an ass-kicking in the right direction, lock both kids in a room until someone makes a move, do _something_ so that Kurogane never again has to stand in the hallway and pretend not to notice while Syaoran and Sakura say goodnight to each other five whole times.  This is ten uncomfortable minutes of every single day that Kurogane will never get back.  Ten minutes when he could have been alone, in peace, doing something other than feeling awkward for everyone involved.

Of _course_ Fai thinks it's romantic.

"Stupid." Kurogane socks Fai in the shoulder just hard enough to make him _oof_ , just because he can, just because the mage is still leaning.  Not bothered, Fai tucks his arm neatly into Kurogane's elbow and drags him down the passage.

"Come on, Kuro-rin," Fai wheedles, "don't you think it's sort of sweet?"

"Hmph."

"Don't be that way." They're at the door of Kurogane's room now, and he hasn't failed to notice that Fai has somehow managed to walk right past his own door, to his _separate_ bedroom, without even stopping.  About to turn Kurogane's doorknob, Fai pauses and looks up with a calculating slant that Kurogane recognizes. "You know, sometimes being, ah, demure might have its merits..."

"That's not demure, that's just embarrassing.  Besides," Kurogane glares down the hallway to Fai's bedroom door, "what would a moron like you know about demure? You're not even subtle."

"Ah-ha, but I _could_ be. If Kuro-tan wanted me to be."

"I don't—what the hell are you saying, idiot?" That tone of voice sends a definite danger signal, and Kurogane isn’t such a fool that he doesn’t notice it.  He just... doesn’t quite cut it off in time.

"Even a big, strong ninja like you wants romance once in a while, right? _You_ know," Fai coos.  "Take the time to do things carefully, like Syaoran and Sakura.  Start things out right." In one yank, Fai has Kurogane over the threshold with the door slammed shut behind them.  There's no chance, now, that someone will stumble on them and offer Kurogane a convenient escape.

"Kuro-tan," Fai says, too close to Kurogane's face and alarmingly serious, "how do you feel about role-playing?"

"Hell no!" is the short, safe answer.

"But, Kuro-wan—"

The long answer has a lot more cursing in it, and ends with Fai totally unfazed, attempting to bodily pin Kurogane to his own door.  The way Fai manages to simultaneously get one hand up the front of Kurogane's shirt and use the other to fasten the complicated latch definitely does not meet any definition of "demure." Fai's knuckles brush ticklishly just below Kurogane's navel. Irritated, Kurogane growls and tries to yank him out of there by the wrist.

If the wandering hand is a distraction ploy, it fails utterly when Fai follows his actions up by adding, in a breathy whisper that condenses wetly behind Kurogane's ear, "Hey, Kuro-rin, let's play Syaoran and Sakura."

Kurogane freezes for a critical second, shot through with horror.  Fai is joking, of course.  Kurogane knows him well enough by now to know this without having to stop fighting long enough to really check.  He also knows him well enough to know that that's exactly what makes this so dangerous.  Fuelled now by the desperate urgency of escape, Kurogane redoubles his struggle.

But the harder he fights back, the more Fai seems to think it's hilarious.  "Come on, it'll be fun! I'll let you be Syaoran if you want..."

"Let me go, you retarded pervert!"

"Careful!” Fai sing-songs, trying to lick Kurogane's chin. "You'll hurt my feelings!"

"You. Are disgusting." Kurogane wipes the spittle off of his face by smearing it into Fai's hair.

"Why, would you rather be the princess?"

It's hard to keep scowling at someone who appears delighted to have his own spit wiped back onto him, but Kurogane does his best.  Undiscouraged, Fai just wheedles his way impossibly closer.  He is completely draped over Kurogane now, clinging and whinging and... And for someone so damn limp-wristed, Fai's grip is like steel.  Kurogane has enough experience to recognize the terrible feeling in his chest as inevitability.  He drops his face to the mage's shoulder, despairing.

"Fucking unbelievable."  But the position is a tactical error; Kurogane's breathing against the crook of Fai's neck is probably enough to betray the laughter that Kurogane is trying so hard not to let out.  "You really wanna?"

Fai makes a musical, assenting sort of sound.  "Of course! Syaoran-kun, you know I am always sincere!"

"Hah," Kurogane snorts, amused against his will, and pushes Fai back a little to check for signs of insanity or concussion.

Fai just bats his eyelashes, experimentally. Princess-ily. "See?" He gets one hand tangled in the back of Kurogane's hair and octopuses the other one around to grab the ninja's ass. "Sincere!"

It's Kurogane's breaking point—he jerks away and across the room, desperate for any kind of distance, before he has to collapse against his dressing table, howling with laughter.  Fai’s instant look of hurt is somewhat marred by the undercurrent of unholy glee in his mismatched eyes.  Kurogane doubles over, gripping blindly at the furniture and struggling for breath.

"Hahaha, yes, because Sakura-chan is Sakura-chan and, ahahaha, Mokona—" he chokes and ends up sputtering, but Fai minces across the room to save the lover who has spurned him.

"And Mokona is Mokona!" the mage finishes with utterly inappropriate enthusiasm, then whacks Kurogane viciously on the back. "Exactly! And so, I always mean what I say! Don't choke to death, please!"

"Why," Kurogane gasps, searching desperately for fortitude and for something to mop his streaming eyes, "if I died, would Sakura-hime, hah, miss me?"

"Of course I would! I—" Fai breaks off for a minute, turning and bending to rummage in the drawer next to Kurogane's left knee.  He produces a spotlessly white handkerchief, triumphant, and presses it into Kurogane's unable-to-resist fingers. Kurogane can't say he isn't grateful.  "I—you must know—that is—I value Syaoran-kun's friendship very much..." Fai trails off again, looking romantically stifled.

Maybe there's something wrong with him, maybe Clow country is full of evil, possessing spirits, but Kurogane is... curious.  He turns to face Fai full-on and does his best to look appropriately moony, one hand raised to his breast in mock-earnestness.  "Ah, is that what this is then, princess? Friendship?"

Fai blinks up at him with huge, liquid eyes.  The delicate blush across the mage's cheeks is a particularly nice touch.  "But of course, Syaoran-kun! We are the very best of friends! I would never dream of seeing anything else in your despairing sighs, your longing glances... your beautiful eyes..." He stares into space for a moment, sparkly gaze gone positively wistful—Kurogane can feel himself losing it again—and then brightens, "No matter what that very wise and handsome wizard, Fai, has to say about it!"

Has Fai really been—Kurogane goes a bit cold. With the mage interfering, there’s every chance that things will in fact get much, much worse before they get better. Apprehensive, Kurogane puts on his best Syaoran face and goes fishing for information. He doesn't have to fake much of his nervousness. "Fai-san says...?"

"Yes! Fai-san told me that you had..." Fai hushes his voice and Kurogane leans in involuntarily to hear the words, " _feelings_."

"Feelings?" Oh god.

"Yes. But! Don't worry, Syaoran-kun! I won't let that person—although he is devastatingly lovely and intelligent and—" Kurogane snorts "—but I won't let that person poison our beautiful, eternal, perfectly chaste friendship!"

Still talking nonsense, Fai innocently saunters around Kurogane until the ninja is effectively trapped between the dresser top and his deranged lover.  One cool, long-fingered, _perfectly_ _chaste_ hand comes to rest against Kurogane's cheek in a gesture of beseeching sincerity.

Suddenly, Kurogane is in this for revenge, determined to be paid back for the wholescale indignity of everything, ever.  He raises his own hand to cover Fai's where it rests against his cheek, returning sincerity for sincerity.

"But Sakura—" No, do better, "but, _Hime-sama_ , can it be that the reason you were confiding in Fai-san is because... because you have feelings for me?" Kurogane positively _purrs_ out the honorifics.  "Can it be, princess, that you have... remembered me?"

He takes one step forward, then another, pressing his height advantage against Fai's doe-eyed innocence.

 "Remembered..." Fai's voice comes out high and soft and laughing.  Kurogane halts his advance, having successfully run Fai up against the edge of the bed.  "Why, Syaoran-kun, are you _trying_ to make me swoon? I trust your honour implicitly, but, since I pass out every time the subject of my memory is mentioned, I may begin to suspect you of some, ah, improper motive while I am asleep—"

"You—bastard! Watch your—" But he finds himself cut off when Fai slides his hand from Kurogane's cheek to firmly cover his open mouth

"I'm sorry, Syaoran-kun, what was that? Please forgive me, I am feeling a bit faint at the moment and I don't think I correctly understood you."

" _Mmph_!"

"I think we were talking about... feelings?"

Kurogane bites at Fai's palm, really intending to cause injury, but it only makes Fai laugh and drop his hand away.  Kurogane is left feeling like some kind of lunatic, suddenly finding himself standing nose-to-nose with an implacable magician while his own arms dangle awkwardly at his sides like he's forgotten how to _have_ arms.  There’s all of three inches between them, but they aren't touching each other at all, anymore.  His bed, which had seemed so conveniently placed, is beginning to feel like a terrible non sequitur.  Then Fai tips his head a little and the line of his throat and the tilt of his chin are delicate and unfamiliar, and apparently this stupid game is still on.

"Princess." It comes out in a rumble, not terribly close to Syaoran's teenage lilt, but Fai slants him such a pretty, girly glance from underneath those pale lashes that Kurogane forgets to bristle about the indignity.

"Yes, Syaoran-kun?" Fai's fake breathlessness is still funnier than Kurogane wants to admit, but it's also more than a little... affecting. “Is there something you need to tell me?”

God _damn_ it.  Kurogane was never this fucking gay before he met the mage, and now.  Now he finds himself reaching out to brush away the lock of hair that has fallen so girlishly into Fai's eyes, _carefully_ , and opening his mouth, and _saying_ _things_.

"Sakura-hime, I was thinking." Kurogane hates Fai. "I was thinking, maybe it is time to... acknowledge..." He hopes his glare is conveying his deep sense of how ridiculous it is that things have come to this. "To acknowledge that we both have feelings and perhaps to, ah, _act_ on those feelings?"

Kurogane leaves it open-ended just in case, please God, Fai has humiliated them both sufficiently for the time being.  But all the same, he lets his fingers move from Fai's hair to trail the back of his knuckles down along Fai's jawline, carefully, _slowly_.  Fai's touch might be cool, but the skin here is all heat. And he sees the flash of Fai's amusement just before he widens those woodland princess bunny-rabbit eyes of his and leans ever-so-slightly into Kurogane's touch.

"But Syaoran-kun, are you sure that this is... alright? I have never—that is, you are—"

Giving up, half laughing again, Kurogane bends forward those last three inches and kisses Fai the way that every princess deserves to be kissed. Chastely. He practically feels his _own_ eyelashes flutter.

"Oh, Princess—"

"Sakura."

"Oh, Sakura, for you... I will _make_ it alright."

Then he plants his free hand smack in the middle of Fai's chest and pushes.

 

Two minutes later, Fai is lying flat on his back on the bed beneath Kurogane, fighting off his advances like some kind of virtuous wildcat.  He is _pulling_ on Kurogane's _earlobes_.  It would be terrible, but the situation is somewhat saved by how hard Fai is laughing and the way that, every time Fai gives an extra-enthusiastic writhe, the whole warm, solid length of his body slides against all of Kurogane's favourite places.

"Wretch! Molester!"

"I'll show you molested, you piece of shit—" Kurogane's hands are on Fai everywhere that's inappropriate, but nowhere at all that's really _good_.

"Syaoran-kun! What terrible language!" Fai's eyes are still huge and innocent as he stares up at Kurogane, all trusting and scandalized.  His hand is down the front of Kurogane's pants.  Kurogane finds himself suddenly frozen, staring down into blue and gold and Fai's hair spread out on Kurogane's sheets like some kind of idiotic, lopsided halo.

He looks kind of—fucking _pretty_ , is how he looks.  Fai's fingers tighten around him, just a little, not enough, and the stillness is broken.

"Ah—!" Kurogane can't help his shivery exhale, but even that halo can't distract him from revenge.  He bends his head to the hollow of Fai's undefended neck where the skin is thinnest.  "Hime-sama, please allow me to," Kurogane runs his tongue up Fai's throat, collarbone to jawline, and his words come out in a starved growl, "apologise for my," he sinks his teeth into the softest place he can find, " _terrible_ impropriety."

Fai stiffens but barely moves, just one deliberate stroke in response, the pressure agonizingly light.  A reward, but not enough.  "Hime," Kurogane manages to choke out, half-exasperated, and then, "god, you bastard, come _on_."

"How many times should I tell you..." Fai's touch is completely gone, and then both his hands are hard on Kurogane's shoulders, _shoving_ him back to arms’ length. Fai just looks at him, but there is sudden heat and danger in it and all at once, for just a second, Kurogane remembers that the idiot he has taken to bed is a man who could kill him, if he wanted to. "Call me Sakura."

There's a beat where all Kurogane can do is stare back and realize that he is, in fact, desperately turned on.

 

Then Kurogane yanks Fai back to him, pulling them both up to a sitting position.  He is touching Fai in earnest now, trying without even thinking about it to find as much skin as possible.  He mouths at the soft spot behind Fai’s ear, but Fai tastes like something strangely innocuous, maybe lemon tea, and Kurogane has to stop.  "Fuck, do you have _any_ shame?" Every piece of clothing the mage owns is unbearably furry and annoying.

Fai smiles, bright and wide and blinding.  "None whatsoever."  He takes his time tangling his fingers purposefully in Kurogane's hair and then, satisfied that his hold is unbreakable, pushes Kurogane down towards his crotch.  "Sakura-chan, on the other hand..."

Before Fai can finish that undoubtedly terrible sentence, Kurogane has wrenched the mage's pants open and shut him up with a grip that is purposely much rougher than Fai usually likes it.

Fai makes a funny, dry noise with the back of his throat and bucks once before visibly remembering that he is a pretty, pretty scandalized princess and therefore supposed to be indignant about this kind of treatment.  Before Fai can do anything to regain the advantage, though, Kurogane splays his metal hand across Fai's bare hip and presses him hard into the mattress.

"Syaora--aahh!"

With more talking imminent, there's no time left to consider angles of attack.  Kurogane does the only thing that seems likely to work: he flat-out shoves Fai's cock into his mouth.  No preliminary thought and no time to line things up.  It's not a particularly finessed move, nor even a particularly kind one, given that Kurogane can feel his teeth scrape—but the way that Fai's entire body goes absolutely tense and then entirely, deliberately relaxed under his touch suggests that Kurogane probably won't need to apologise much.  He swallows, awkwardly and a bit experimentally, trying to resituate, and Fai shudders out a fast, shallow breath.

"Oooh, Syaoran, so forceful! You'll embarrass me. I am, mmn," Just for that, Kurogane digs his fingers into Fai's hips hard enough to bruise white skin.  Fai fades out for a second on a purr that Kurogane can feel all the way through his chest, and then tightens his grip on Kurogane's ears even more.  There's a bit of gravel threatening to creep into his breathy Sakura-voice.  "I am overcome."

Fai is enjoying himself entirely too much up there, and Kurogane abruptly remembers that the way this is supposed to end is _not_ with himself crouching virtually untouched at the foot of the bed while Fai comes down his throat.  One slow lick and he abandons Fai's cock entirely.  Syaoran would be all flustered apologies here, but Syaoran is a goddamn _girl_.  Kurogane doesn't have it in him at the moment to pretend that he's anything other than himself and terrifyingly desperate.

But—

But part of this desperation is the belated admission that he will do anything, go any distance, call Fai any damn name the mage wants, just to make Fai touch him.  Hell, just to make Fai look at him like he _wants_ to touch.  Much too late, Kurogane realizes that they are really doing this, this ridiculous, stupid _thing_ , and he doesn't even mind.  Not really.  It's not even a concession anymore it's just—a thing, that they are doing.  That they are both doing.  That Fai will laugh about for hours, later, and probably bring up in public.

"Princess, I-I mean, Sakura... do you mind if we... go further?"

Fai stops for an instant like he knows, like he _always_ _fucking_ _knows_ , exactly what Kurogane is thinking and for once, it's taken him by surprise.  He opens his mouth like he's about to say something and then maybe he thinks better of it, but he definitely doesn't seem to be against going further.

In fact, Fai pulls back completely, absolutely silent, and gets rid of every piece of clothing that Kurogane hasn't already wrenched off and thrown somewhere.  Kurogane follows suit, not taking his eyes off of Fai.  There's something there, something changed, behind Fai's suddenly intent countenance.

Naked, Fai comes back to Kurogane, closer and warmer if not precisely gentler, and now there's no trace of a tease as he runs the pads of his fingers, firm and sure, around the head of Kurogane's cock _exactly_ right. 

"Mmm, Sakura..." Kurogane says, as smooth as he can, and returns the favour.

"Shut _up_ , Kuro-koi," Fai mumbles, short of breath and shaking a little.  And then, "Shit."

"But princess—" Fai lets go of him for just long enough to hit him across the face with a pillow, and Kurogane obligingly shuts up and occupies his mouth with the lovely expanse of Fai's chest.  His hands are busy, so Kurogane uses tongue and teeth to tease until Fai is making the kind of high, wordless yelps that indicate total, undignified surrender.

"Oh, don't fucking—haa—laugh at me, just, um," Fai removes his hand from the base of Kurogane's cock, leaving him momentarily bereft, but then he uses it to tug Kurogane into better alignment and grinds up against him instead, naked skin to naked skin and it's all good, anyway.  Better, it's damn near _perfect_ , all the angles exactly right, and even through how stupid everything is and how stupid Fai is, for a second all Kurogane can do is press their foreheads together and pant against Fai's open mouth.

It is the humour in Fai's eyes that ultimately undoes him, the way that Fai's breathing keeps hitching and then speeding up like he can't control it in the least and his hair is sweaty and all over his face and his fingers are trembling against Kurogane’s chest and the back of his neck and even so, Fai still looks like he thinks this is the best joke he's ever heard.  Fai is going to come, and Kurogane _knows_ he's going to, and he's determined to find that last piece, that last inch of forward momentum to push Fai over, and right before he finds it, Fai giggles suddenly and leans up to brush a soft, closed-mouthed kiss along the straining tendons in Kurogane's neck.  "Ahh, Syaoran-kun, sorry, I'm, _hah_ , I can't--"

Kurogane can't stand it, absolutely can't handle how much he simultaneously wants to laugh and _kill_ Fai and eat him _alive_.  Instead of doing any of those things, he kisses him hard enough to remind Fai exactly who he's writhing up against and then they're both somehow coming, embarrassingly fast and without having done anything at all besides grope each other, really.

 

For a long, still second, Kurogane slumps mostly on top of Fai, not moving and trying his damndest not to think. About anything. His face is pressed into Fai's hair where Fai’s stolen the only pillow that hasn't been flung completely off the bed. He asks the pillow, "Have you really been trying to put ideas into those poor kids' heads?"

"Well, someone has to do something about it, don't you think? Things are getting so bad that I feel awkward just watching them."

"Really. _You_ feel awkward. What a coincidence."

"Shut up, Kuro-rin, I'm sleeping. And get off of me—you’re all sticky." But Fai doesn't move to shove him away, and Kurogane scoffs into the pillow that smells like Fai's honey-and-jasmine hair and doesn't go.


End file.
